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Anti-Cliche Exercise: Icicle - Diamond Necklace by Vahlent

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Vahlent

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I am patient. I wait, clinging to the rain gutter. I have hunted them for so many years, and now I have found them. I know they are in this house, safe in her dark vault, just as they were once safe in earth’s vault eons ago. We are very old friends that the Great Mother brought together in the scheme of time. I bathed them lovingly in a secret stream for infinite years. Then the machines came and churned me into mud and slurry. When the machines left, ‘they’ were also gone. I have looked for them since.

My frozen state is short, uncertain, but I am determined. Tomorrow’s sun will threaten me, but I must depend on Great Mother to guide this ‘reunion’.

Wait! The door below me opens, and she emerges, wearing - them! How they sparkle in the glow of the entry lights. It must be now! I release my hold on the rain gutter and
drop - a dagger of ice - onto her shoulder, breaking the necklace and scattering my diamond friends like grains of star dust. I lie shattered beside the woman as she cries out and falls to the ground.

The servants take her into the house, while I lie there in pieces next to ‘them,’ to wait anxiously for the rising sun, so I can bathe them again before the servants come to gather them. They will crush me underfoot, carrying my friends into the house, and the warming sun will lift me to the clouds as vapor and carry me to a new adventure.

Author's Footnote:
This Exercise was from Lesson 7 of the Writer's Workshop. The given word was 'icicle.' The strong companion subject that I chose was 'diamond necklace.' I combined both into the exaggerated story above.

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Post Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:53 pm  Lily2

I don't remember this exercise, Vahlent. Hmm... I'll have to go back through my notes, I guess. I really like your writing style and your skilled use of description.

Lily2,
I'm sorry for the long lapse in replying. I'm just finishing the Writeriffic Creativity Course, and have been totally absorbed in it. But now the end is in sight. I will be taking a break from course work to catch up on--everything, including this Forum.

Thank you so much for reading my Diamond Necklace Piece, and for your positive comments about writing style. This was from Lesson 7 Anti-Cliche, where the given word was 'icicle,' and we had to list 3 random subjects - one of which would be selected as a companion word to 'icicle.' I chose 'diamond necklace,' and created the story.
I feel that it is an excellent exercise in creativity.

Have you been writing since our course together? I hope so. I have an advantage in available time - being retired. Most of the class seemed to working, parenting, both. I hope that you will contribute something here soon.
Best Regards,
Vahlent (Bill)

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Post Tue May 29, 2012 10:11 am  WWGrace

Ann credits Natalie Goldberg for this exercise. This should jog the memory toward the Anticliché Exercise, of anyone who has taken Ann's class:

"You'll find a list of words ...You will think, beef . . .roast . . . salty . . . cow. I want you to let those obvious connections floatpast you and keep listening and looking inside your mind for other, less obvious images. Wait for something concrete. It doesn't have to be logical. It
doesn't have to make any sense at all.
Trustyourself. Go for something beyond the ordinary response. Beef . . .water tower.Beef . . . giant. Beef . . . gym bag. Stay with concrete images, something youcan see. If I say anger, try to go beyond associations like violence, red face,
and fist..Anger . . . chinning bar...

* beef * polka * parade * canoe * movie theater * icicle * beard *dictionary * highway * hike * hamburger

Jot down a few strong words to go with each of these in turn. Skip your first two or three
thoughts because they will be the clichés (pig . . . fat . . . pork . . .bacon). Wait for the unexpected (pig . . . hurricane . . . sidewalk . . . knee socks)."
(from Ann Linquist's Beginning Writers' Workshop)



I just loved some of these exercises that were posted
in class. The writer from NY (who shared her story of being an exotic
dancer for the final piece) wrote some crazy good whirlwind things I
just loved, for this exercise. I think not many people posted much on
this one.

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